What Turns Women On

Wondering how to arouse a woman? Use these biggest turn-ons for women to get her in the mood.

Mastering the art of arousing a woman isn’t an easy task. Everyone is different depending on their anatomy, their sexual experiences and desires. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all guide, but it’s an all-important step towards conquering it.

Knowing how to please your partner isn’t just sexy: it can improve intimacy in relationships. Having a deep sexual understanding can build trust and facilitate closeness.

It can also mitigate any existing negativity, helping to break down not only physical barriers but emotional ones. Arousal can reduce stress, bolster the immune system and produce anti-bodies in the process. Amazing, right?

However, it’s important to note that although “sexual motivation” and “libido” - terms closely associated with being turned on - are often used interchangeably, their meanings are different.

Libido refers more to the biological component of desire - the enthusiasm or interest in sexual activity. This is often more spontaneous, driven by hormones.

Elsewhere, sexual motivation refers more to a willingness to engage in sexual activity. This component is psychological - relating to interpersonal influences. Got it? Good.

Learn how to recognize the signs of female arousal

Arousal is the feeling of being turned on sexually, but it’s more than just a few fuzzy butterflies. There are physical and emotional changes that accompany that feeling of sexual excitement.

Key to understanding how to turn a female on is knowing how to navigate the erogenous zones - the areas of the body that are pleasurable to touch and which ignite sexual excitement or stimulation.

The “love hormone” oxytocin is released in response to the activation of sensory nerves during sex. Showing physical affection and knowing how to please your partner can also trigger dopamine - the quick-acting pleasure-transmitter chemical which is released when the brain is anticipating a reward.

However, not everyone experiences arousal from touch alone. Fantasising or engaging with erotic materials like porn or erotica can also get things moving. Whatever floats her boat.

It isn’t just women that have female anatomy, and not all women have female anatomy. Recognising what makes your partner tick lies just as much in communication as it does perception. Understand what makes them unique and where physical anatomy might be diverse, and discuss how to navigate that and enhance pleasure without triggering any potential body dysphoria (when a person worries about their appearance). Keep it inclusive.

Physical signs of female arousal

Lemon innuendo 6

Signs of female arousal can be detected by physical changes in the body. Firstly, parts of the vulva - including the clitoris or labia - may become swollen or heightened in sensitivity as the blood vessels dilate. The clitoris, in particular, becomes erect. This is often paired with wetness on the vulva or vagina as the glands produce lubricating fluids. The vaginal canal can also expand, which is the female body’s preparatory response for vaginal penetration.

It isn’t just the vagina and vulva that experience physical changes during arousal: the nipples also become more sensitive to touch. Want to identify this green light? The nipples might harden or produce a physical response to touch - such as a moan - in your partner. Breasts can also become fuller.

As the female body reaches the plateau stage - preparing itself for its peak in sexual pleasure - physical signs of arousal often intensify. At this point, the vagina might tighten and produce more lubrication as it prepares for its high point, and breathing may quicken.

Signs of female arousal body language

2019.01.08 LH Day 01-1241-b

When it comes to body language, women have a very particular set of indicators for arousal. Whether on a subconscious or active level, body language is intrinsically linked to sexual excitement and is often tied to fertility.

Open body language is a strong indicator of female arousal in relationships, indicating emotional and sexual availability. Take a look at her arms: are they angled towards you? Are her legs uncrossed? These are all dominant examples of open body language.

The face is like an open book: expressions can be as telling of female arousal as the body. Dilated pupils are a tell-tale indicator, as are slightly parted lips. Rapid eye-blinking - also known as the eyelash flutter - is similarly indicative of sexual excitement.

Turn-ons to try

Sex isn’t a mechanical thing and it can be accessed in a variety of different ways. A crowd-pleaser is the hug-from-behind trick. Whether she’s washing up or carrying out a mundane chore, assess the vibe and consider going in for a cheeky neck kiss. That’s an instant turn-on.

Massaging is a similar way to ramp up the volume. Shoulder massages can be arousing even if quick and gentle. It’s a soft reminder of physical attraction and - pleasure aside - is a grounding, comforting force. It’s an emotional way of letting her know you’re there without saying anything.

Acts of service can also be uber-sexy and affirming for many women, whether that’s making her an impromptu cup of tea or emptying the dishwasher. However, if you’re going down this avenue it’s important to note that physical chores do not mean that it is your right to be entitled to anything sexually. Don’t get cocky.

The biggest turn-on of them all? Not expecting anything back after a pleasure session. There’s no doubt that sex should always be fair and everyone’s needs should be accounted for, but why not let her sit back and relax every once in a while? Or lie back. Whatever the mood suits.

Try new things in the bedroom

54545_000

Want to keep things consistently pleasing for you and your partner? Try new things in the bedroom. Routines can be comforting, but it’s important to keep that spark alive.

There’s no harm in returning to old favourites, but do consider switching it up occasionally. Ensure to constantly check in with your partner about what feels good for them, what they might want to try, and how they might want to improve your sexy go-tos and keep that chemistry going.

As the saying goes: if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it; but checking in and reevaluating is important. Trying new things doesn’t need to be radical: smaller changes you can make range from trying a new position to introducing a new type of sex toy.

It’s not all in the physical touch: laying the foundations for an intoxicating session can be in offering a massage before sex, giving romantic or sexual compliments, or wearing sexy underwear. Trying something new can extend to the physical environment too: try creating a romantic feeling across the room, whether that involves lighting a candle or dimming the lights a little.

Find the most sensitive places to touch a woman sex

60167_a33710_black_000

Erogenous zones can facilitate sexual pleasure or arousal both through solo play or partnered sex. These zones are understood to generate so much feel-good buzz because they often have more nerve endings, making them highly sensitive to touch.

There’s also an added exhilaration in the fact that these areas are often not regularly touched or are usually covered by clothing, so making these inaccessible areas accessible typically adds an element of thrill.

However, erogenous zones are not a one-size-fits-all concept. Everyone is different. The genitals and breasts are widely considered to be universal erogenous zones, but any other part of the body can fit this description depending on the sexual preferences of that specific person.

In 2020, the Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that the lips, nipples, breasts, neck, buttocks, inner thigh and ears are all widely considered to be popular erogenous zones. One 2016 study found that - of 704 participants - the majority reported that the entire body could be considered an erogenous zone.

The nape of the neck, the pubic hairline and the back of the neck also rank highly as preferred erogenous zones. That leaves a lot of playing ground to navigate.

Remember: pleasure is a mutual endeavour and many people find satisfaction in touching the erogenous zones of another person. Communicating those pleasure spots to your partner - and how it makes you feel to stimulate those areas - is key to navigating how to turn them on between the sheets, whether that’s a long-term partner or a casual fling.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember about female pleasure is that it isn’t all about the vagina. Not everyone finds satisfaction in vaginal stimulation or penetrative sex.

Up to 37.7% of women need clitoral stimulation to access that all-important sexual thrill and only 18.4% report vaginal stimulation - whether with a sex toy or otherwise - to be sufficient.

Some of the most popular motions for clitoral stimulation include up-and-down, cyclical or side-to-side motions, but always talk to your partner to better grasp what works for them.

Help her feel comfortable receiving oral

POTW-Netflix-and-Chill 1000x1000 2022

Receiving oral sex can be difficult for some people to navigate. Female bodies are subject to intense policing by society and told how their vulvas and vaginas should look, smell and even taste. For many, opening up that region for one of the most intimate forms of sexual pleasure can be a challenge.

Want to help her feel comfortable receiving oral sex? Communicate with her, first and foremost. Try to navigate whether she has any anxieties around oral so that you can best understand how to give it to her.

Does it bring her pleasure? Does she feel insecure? Does she want to feel more connected as it’s happening? These are all questions worth asking.

If it’s connection she’s after, reassure her with physical touch. Try caressing her breasts as you’re down there to access that two-fold, double-edged erogenous pleasure and remind her that you’re worshipping her body. Similarly, try reaching out for her hand or stroking the insides of her thighs to extend that satisfaction.

If she struggles with insecurity, reinforce her physical beauty with compliments. It isn’t easy to allow someone access to that angle, so soothe her with soft, slow words of encouragement.

Try coming up for air to intermittently whisper in her ear, caressing her stomach, thighs or bum on the way down to reinforce just how much you want her. Tell her with your hands as well as with your mouth. Eye contact can be sexy too.

If she’s struggling with being perceived lying down, particularly with knowing where to look or how to position her head, discuss switching up positions.

Face-sitting allows that women-centric sexual empowerment and is often a huge turn-on for their partners too. If it’s control she’s worried about, she has the upper hand with this position. If she wants to sex it up with the speed or intensity, she can access that joy and allow herself that empowerment in the process.

Feed her fantasies and desires

2019.05.15 LH Day 02-6313-b

Communicating those all-important fantasies and desires can be difficult for women. Rule number one of accessing arousal? Be open to fulfilling her desires.

Make sure to check in regularly with how she’s feeling sexually. Is there anything new she wants to try? Anything she’s intrigued by? Listen and take notes. It’s sexy to be on board with your partner’s desires: you can transform those fantasies into thrilling realities. It’s mutually pleasurable.

Play with toys

Brand-Nav-Tiles-Happy-Rabbit

Remember: introducing sex toys isn’t just a one-way pleasure street. It’s often equally sexy watching your partner unlock that pleasure and knowing that you facilitated it. Sex toys are not your competition: they’re your friend. An ally, so to speak.

There are plenty of sex toys that are compatible with coupled sex as well as solo play. Already used a bullet vibrator on your partner? Explore using a different form of toy to energise the vulva and vagina in a new, refreshing way to keep things spicey.

The bullet is commonly used on the clitoris in isolation, but the rabbit vibrator is a natural level upper as it stimulates both the clitoris and vagina together. Great for steamy sex, concentrating on both these areas typically brings that arousal to the plateau level very quickly.

You don’t need to go straight in with the rabbit either. The main body can be used to gently massage the clitoris before its insertion, allowing the vulva to generate critical lubrication and the clitoris to gradually become erect.

If you’re looking to go down this rabbit hole so to speak, the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator is one of Lovehoney’s most popular. With a curved end to reach that all-important internal G-spot, it has a total of 36 vibration combinations to allow complete control and, importantly, to keep that excitement going.

On a budget? One of the most accessible rabbits on offer is the Lovehoney Frisky 10 Function G-Spot Silicone Rabbit Vibrator, retailing at £24.99. Fully submersible, you can use this in the bath or shower when getting frisky with your partner for an added layer of all-important, ecstasy-enhancing contrast.

Sex toys are always evolving and not all of them rely solely on vibration. Want to show the master of erogenous zones some loving? Invest in a clitoral stimulator. The Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator is an all-time fave, offering 6 levels of intensity for a range of sumptuous sensations. The innovative Pleasure Air Technology enlists contactless stimulation to exhilarate the all-important clitoral nerve endings, of which there are over 8000. That’s a true pleasure powerhouse, so make use of it.

Lube isn’t just for aubergine and peach emoji-related action: it’s the ideal partner to any sex toy. Enhancing that pleasure and increasing sensitivity, lube is an all-situation job. Want to get saucy? Consider trying a flavoured lube, from Lovehoney’s raspberry variation to the fun, fresh birthday cake edition.

Meanwhile, Lovehoney Enjoy Water-Based Lubricant is compatible with all sex toy materials adds that extra glide without trapping any bacteria. Now that’s sexy.

Read more Relationship Advice from Lovehoney

Explore Lovehoney best-sellers