What Turns Women On

Signs of female arousal can be detected by physical changes in the body. Firstly, parts of the vulva - including the clitoris or labia - may become swollen or heightened in sensitivity as the blood vessels dilate. The clitoris, in particular, becomes erect. This is often paired with wetness on the vulva or vagina as the glands produce lubricating fluids. The vaginal canal can also expand, which is the female body’s preparatory response for vaginal penetration.

It isn’t just the vagina and vulva that experience physical changes during arousal: the nipples also become more sensitive to touch. Want to identify this green light? The nipples might harden or produce a physical response to touch - such as a moan - in your partner. Breasts can also become fuller.

As the female body reaches the plateau stage - preparing itself for its peak in sexual pleasure - physical signs of arousal often intensify. At this point, the vagina might tighten and produce more lubrication as it prepares for its high point, and breathing may quicken.

When it comes to body language, women have a very particular set of indicators for arousal. Whether on a subconscious or active level, body language is intrinsically linked to sexual excitement and is often tied to fertility.

Open body language is a strong indicator of female arousal in relationships, indicating emotional and sexual availability. Take a look at her arms: are they angled towards you? Are her legs uncrossed? These are all dominant examples of open body language.

The face is like an open book: expressions can be as telling of female arousal as the body. Dilated pupils are a tell-tale indicator, as are slightly parted lips. Rapid eye-blinking - also known as the eyelash flutter - is similarly indicative of sexual excitement.

Want to keep things consistently pleasing for you and your partner? Try new things in the bedroom. Routines can be comforting, but it’s important to keep that spark alive.

There’s no harm in returning to old favourites, but do consider switching it up occasionally. Check in with your partner about what feels good for them, what they might want to try, and how they might want to improve your sexy go-tos and keep that chemistry alive.

Trying new things doesn’t need to be radical: whether it's trying a new position to introducing a new type of sex toy, there are plenty of small, exciting things to try.

It’s not all about penetration either; try offering a massage before sex, giving romantic or sexual compliments, or wearing sexy underwear. You could even choose a mutual masturbation position together to help get to know each other's bodies even more intimately.

Erogenous zones can facilitate sexual pleasure or arousal both through solo play or partnered sex. These zones are understood to generate so much feel-good buzz because they often have more nerve endings, making them highly sensitive to touch.

There’s also an added exhilaration in the fact that these areas are often not regularly touched or are usually covered by clothing, so making these inaccessible areas accessible typically adds an element of thrill.

However, erogenous zones are not a one-size-fits-all concept. Everyone is different. The genitals and breasts are widely considered to be universal erogenous zones, but any other part of the body can fit this description depending on the sexual preferences of that specific person.

In 2020, the Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that the lips, nipples, breasts, neck, buttocks, inner thigh and ears are all widely considered to be popular erogenous zones. One 2016 study found that - of 704 participants - the majority reported that the entire body could be considered an erogenous zone.

The nape of the neck, the pubic hairline and the back of the neck also rank highly as preferred erogenous zones. That leaves a lot of playing ground to navigate.

Remember: pleasure is a mutual endeavour and many people find satisfaction in touching the erogenous zones of another person. Communicating those pleasure spots to your partner - and how it makes you feel to stimulate those areas - is key to navigating how to turn them on between the sheets, whether that’s a long-term partner or a casual fling.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember about female pleasure is that it isn’t all about the vagina. Not everyone finds satisfaction in vaginal stimulation or penetrative sex.

Receiving oral sex can be difficult for some people to navigate. Female bodies are subject to intense policing by society and told how their vulvas and vaginas should look, smell and even taste. For many, opening up that region for one of the most intimate forms of sexual pleasure can be a challenge.

Want to help her feel comfortable receiving oral sex? Communicate with her, first and foremost. Try to navigate whether she has any anxieties around oral so that you can best understand how to give it to her.

Does it bring her pleasure? Does she feel insecure? Does she want to feel more connected as it’s happening? These are all questions worth asking.

If it’s connection she’s after, reassure her with physical touch. Try caressing her breasts as you’re down there to access that two-fold, double-edged erogenous pleasure and remind her that you’re worshipping her body. Similarly, try reaching out for her hand or stroking the insides of her thighs to extend that satisfaction.

If she struggles with insecurity, reinforce her physical beauty with compliments. It isn’t easy to allow someone access to that angle, so soothe her with soft, slow words of encouragement.

Try coming up for air to intermittently whisper in her ear, caressing her stomach, thighs or bum on the way down to reinforce just how much you want her. Tell her with your hands as well as with your mouth. Eye contact can be sexy too.

If she’s struggling with being perceived lying down, particularly with knowing where to look or how to position her head, discuss switching up positions.

Communicating those all-important fantasies and desires can be difficult for women. Rule number one of accessing arousal? Be open to fulfilling her desires.

Make sure to check in regularly with how she’s feeling sexually. Is there anything new she wants to try? Anything she’s intrigued by? Listen and take notes. It’s sexy to be on board with your partner’s desires: you can transform those fantasies into thrilling realities. It’s mutually pleasurable.

Remember: introducing sex toys isn’t just a one-way pleasure street. It’s often equally sexy watching your partner unlock that pleasure and knowing that you facilitated it. Sex toys are not your competition: they’re your friend. An ally, so to speak.

There are plenty of sex toys that are compatible with coupled sex as well as solo play. Already used a bullet vibrator on your partner? Explore using a different form of toy to energise the vulva and vagina in a new, refreshing way to keep things spicey.

The bullet is commonly used on the clitoris in isolation, but the rabbit vibrator is a natural level upper as it stimulates both the clitoris and vagina together. Great for steamy sex, concentrating on both these areas typically brings that arousal to the plateau level very quickly.

You don’t need to go straight in with the rabbit either. The main body can be used to gently massage the clitoris before its insertion, allowing the vulva to generate critical lubrication and the clitoris to gradually become erect.

If you’re looking to go down this rabbit hole so to speak, the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator is one of Lovehoney’s most popular. With a curved end to reach that all-important internal G-spot, it has a total of 36 vibration combinations to allow complete control and, importantly, to keep that excitement going.

On a budget? One of the most accessible rabbits on offer is the Lovehoney Frisky 10 Function G-Spot Silicone Rabbit Vibrator, retailing at £24.99. Fully submersible, you can use this in the bath or shower when getting frisky with your partner for an added layer of all-important, ecstasy-enhancing contrast.