How to Introduce Anal Sex Toys to Your Relationship
Anal play is the one sexual subject that's guaranteed to put the 'oooh' into 'taboo'. But this hidden pleasure zone deserves to be explored as anal stimulation can enhance every sexual scenario, for both women and men.
Anal sex toys are specially designed products for anal penetration. The shapes are often tapered or graduated allowing for easy insertion, before flaring out or swelling in size to stimulate those internal pleasure zones.
Smooth and sensual, anal sex toys are designed for use by men and women and feel equally as fantastic.
Do anal sex toys hurt?
Anal penetration can be painful if you are inexperienced but this is just one kind of anal play. The sphincter muscle ring is rich in nerve endings and welcomes gentle stimulation by fingers, tongues or toys like the gently rounded tip of the Butt Tingler Vibrating Butt Plug.
The perineum, just beneath the anal opening, also appreciates soft and sensual stimulation. Try running a few Lovehoney Beginner's Anal Beads over the perineum as part of a sensual massage or adding a little Durex Play Tingle Personal Lubricant as you explore softly with your fingers. You could also begin by stimulating the area with your lips and tongue, known as rimming.
If you take your time and do as much or as little as you like, you'll soon see why one of the last great sexual taboos is enjoyed by around a third of western couples, gay and straight.
How do I bring up the subject with a partner?
Good sex is all about communication, so discuss your anal fantasies before ploughing ahead.
Talk about buying anal sex toys or indulging in anal play outside of the bedroom so there is no pressure on either partner. Be honest, say why you're interested and listen to what your partner has to say too. Start the conversation light and jovial, so no one will feel offended if there is any rejection.
If you take your partner by surprise, they may take flight - anal sex is a common fantasy but it's not shared by all. Similarly, if you express a desire for anal and your partner is keen, calm the enthusiasm for a short while so you can figure out what anal sex toys are right for you.
It's also a good idea to start off small - suggest using some beginners toys at first, rather than ploughing ahead with a rusty trombone (which is when one partner rims the anus using their mouth while stimulating the penis with their hands - a more advanced technique!)
How do I use anal sex toys?
Anal beads are more newbie-friendly than larger insertable toys, so they are a great place to start if you’re a beginner. The Tracey Cox Supersex Silicone Anal Beads are graduated in size allowing you to take as much or as little as you like.
Lubricate yourself and your anal beads, then gently push the first bead inside you. You can then ‘pop’ each bead in slowly until you’ve taken as much as you are comfortable with.
Anal beads feel fantastic when left in during intercourse or masturbation and can be pulled out during orgasm to intensify the sensations.
If you’ve used any kind of sex toys before, then an anal dildo should be easy for you to get to grips with. Available in numerous different shapes and sizes, we advise starting with something small but textured, like the Lovehoney BASICS Realistic Anal Prober.
Make sure that you’ve coated your sex toy in a dedicated anal lubricant and that the opening of your anus is well lubricated as well. The firmness of an anal dildo allows it to slide in with ease, but you may find that you have to angle your body so it fits perfectly and stimulates all the right places.
Anal dildos allow you to experience the thrusting fun of anal sex at your own speed and depth, but remember - always keep your hand on your anal dildo and don’t push it too far!
As one of the most popular anal sex toys, there will be a butt plug to fit you! Designed to sit internally and stay there for long-term stimulation, butt plugs usually have a tapered head, a wide body and a slim neck with flared base, allowing it to remain in place even during the friskiest of sex!
Apply a liberal amount of lubricant to the butt plug and to your body, then ease the tip in slowly. As this is the slimmest part of the plug, you may struggle to get it in at first due to the incredible flexibility, however angling it towards your stomach will make it easier to achieve penetration. Gently insert more of the butt plug until you have reached the slim neck. You can then keep your plug in place as a naughty reminder whilst you go about your business or use it alongside other forms of stimulation.
Many people like to use a butt plug, such as the Lovehoney BASICS Slimline Butt Buddy Butt Plug, just before anal intercourse as it will gently stretch them so they can take all of their partner’s penis comfortably.
How do I know if I'm clean… you know… down there?
There’s no delicate way to put it - anal sex can be a messy experience. However there are ways to keep things safe, clean and hygienic.
Firstly, it is advised that you use the toilet at least 30 minutes before any sort of anal activities. In general, faeces is not stored in the lower area of the anus where a penis or sex toy can reach unless you need to go to the bathroom, so it should be fairly clean anyway.
However, this brings us on to our second point; you may also want to use a douche or enema to make sure you’re squeaky clean! The basic idea of a douche is that it gently deposits water into the rectal passage, removing any compacted faeces as gravity does its thing and draws the water back out of you.
Finally, make sure you use condoms on your anal sex toys. This will prevent bacterial build up and make it easy to clean afterwards. It also gives your sex toys (or your partner’s penis) a super smooth surface so no left over faecal matter can get stuck in it.
Read More: How to Use an Anal Douche
So, what's next?
If you enjoyed your first experience with anal sex toys, then why not consider going slightly larger? The Lovehoney Butt Tingler 5 Function Vibrating Butt Plug not only has added vibrations but also a slightly larger size that will give you that satisfying stretched sensation. Just remember to keep the lube coming!
If anal sex isn’t for you, then don’t feel like you have to continue. Some people love it and some people hate it, so don’t feel like you have to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Need more help?
You can Contact Customer Care, who will be able to help you find the perfect anal sex toy. You can email, telephone or live chat to an experienced advisor 24/7.
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