• How to Choose a Strap-On Harness

    Strap ons are a great sex toy for couples. They allow you to penetrate your partner, while keeping your hands free for other fun… We've come a long way since dildos on a piece of elastic, so now when people speak about a strap-on, they usually mean a strap-on harness.

    A strap-on harness lets the wearer have more comfort and control, ensuring they can give the most pleasure to their partner. Most of the time, you can also switch dildos in and out of a harness so you can experiment with a whole range of toys.


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    Product featured: Sportsheets Newcomers Strap-On Starter Kit

    How to Choose a Strap-On Harness

    To help you choose the best strap-on, it's important to understand how a harness is put together.

    1. A strap-on harness is made up of three main parts:

      1. Harness

      The strap-on harness itself, which usually has a padded front section and a series of adjustable straps that you step into and then adjust at the waist and/or the legs.

      2. O-ring

      Either a fixed hole to put dildos through, or an O-ring that attaches to the harness.

      3. Dildo

      A harness dildo that fits the hole or O-ring (a harness usually comes with at least one dildo to get you started).

      If you're new to strap-on sex, we suggest buying a kit from our Dildo Harnesses & Kits section that will give you a harness and a compatible dildo - everything you need to get started!

    2. What is a strap on?

    The Right Harness for You

    All the strap on harnesses we sell at Lovehoney have a degree of adjustability to cover a range of sizes. Some achieve this versatility through elasticated straps for stretchability, but the majority are adjusted with adjustable strapping, meaning they can accommodate a greater spectrum of sizes. The minimum and maximum adjustability of the harnesses are listed within the key features on each product page.

    Most harnesses can be worn around either the waist or hips, so choose whatever feels most comfortable for you. While most users tend to prefer fitting their harness around the hips, in the approximate positioning where a penis would be, wearing the straps around the waist does have some advantages. In this position the dildo sits higher so the wearer’s genitals are better exposed (especially for men), and some might find the straps sit more smoothly in this higher position.

    To measure your hip size for your harness, run a tape measure around the fullest part of your hips, usually about an inch below your navel. To measure your waist size for your harness, run a tape measure around the slimmest part of your waist at the back then point the ends downwards to meet at the top of your crotch.

    O-Rings Explained

    You'll probably have an idea of the sort of size dildo you want to use in your harness. The diameter of the hole or O-ring dictates how big or small a dildo your harness will hold.

    The bigger the O-ring, the bigger the dildo it will fit (and vice versa)!

    Lovehoney Beginner's Strap On Harness Kit with 5 Inch Pegging DildoA beginner to 'pegging' (a man being anally penetrated by a woman) might like to start with a very slimline dildo to get used to the sensations. If that's the case, go for a harness with a 1.25 inch O-ring like the Sportsheets Newcomers Strap-On Starter Kit.

    However, if you think you will quickly progress to something bigger, choose one with interchangeable O-rings, like the Lovehoney Beginner's Strap On Harness Kit. This will give you the flexibility to move up in size without having to buy a new harness.

    Someone more experienced at being penetrated, vaginally or anally, might like to go for more of a challenge - so choose a harness with either a 1.5 inch, 1.75 inch or 2.0 inch diameter O-ring.

    Lovehoney Advanced Strap On Harness Kit with 7 Inch G-Spot DildoThe Lovehoney Advanced Strap On Harness Kit is a great choice for the intermediate to experienced player - it comes with a 7 inch G-spot dildo, but the beauty of this harness is that it has an interchangeable O-ring, so you can go as big (or small) as you like.

    If you go for a harness with an interchangeable O-ring, you'll get even more versatility.

    If you choose a harness that doesn't have an interchangeable O-ring you can only use dildos that fit snugly in the ring supplied. If you want to go bigger or smaller you will have to buy a whole new harness rather than just changing the O-ring and the dildo.

    So, if you plan on using lots of different dildos and accessories with your harness, choose one where the O-ring (as well as the dildo) can be changed. Although the up-front cost may be a little more, you're giving yourself a lot more choice.

    If you've already got a harness and want to buy a compatible dildo, check out our Harness Dildos section and give our guide: How to Choose a Dildo to Fit Your Harness.

    Strap-On Harness and O-Ring Size Chart

    Use our handy at-a-glance chart to choose a harness with the right type of O-ring for you.

    Harness O-Ring Diameter Can O-Ring Be Changed? Harness
    1.25 inches Yes Lovehoney Beginner's Unisex Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Lovehoney Advanced Unisex Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Fetish Fantasy Unisex Vibrating Strap-On Set
    No Sportsheets Newcomers Unisex Strap-On Starter Kit
    Yes Tantus Bend Over Unisex Beginner Strap On-Harness Kit
    Yes Tantus Bend Over Unisex Intermediate Vibrating Strap-On Harness
    1.5 inches Yes Lovehoney Beginner's Unisex Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Lovehoney Advanced Unisex Strap On Harness Kit
    No Beginner's Strap-On Harness Kit
    No Double Tip Unisex Strap-On Harness Kit
    Yes Fetish Fantasy Unisex Vibrating Strap-On Set
    No RodeoH Strap On Harness Brief
    No Unisex Strap On Harness Kit
    No Unisex Strap On Triple Dildo Kit
    Yes Tantus Bend Over Unisex Beginner Strap On-Harness Kit
    Yes Tantus Bend Over Unisex Intermediate Vibrating Strap-On Harness Kit
    1.75 inches Yes Fetish Fantasy Unisex Vibrating Strap-On Set
    Yes Red Rider Unisex G-Spot Strap On Harness Kit
    2 inches Yes Lovehoney Beginner's Unisex Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Lovehoney Advanced Unisex Strap On Harness Kit
    Yes Universal Lover's Super Strap-on Harness
    Yes Fetish Fantasy Unisex Vibrating Strap-On Set
    Yes Sportsheets Sedeux Divine Plus Size Harness

    Strapless Strap Ons?!

    Lovehoney Double Delight Vibrating Double Strap On

    If you’re more experienced, there’s also the strapless strap-on to bear in mind. With one of these, you can get a greater sense of closeness as there are no straps to get in the way.

    The larger bulbous end is worn in the vagina and the longer end is used to penetrate the other partner. A strapless strap on is great for vaginal penetration, or for those experienced in anal play, as they’re often quite large in length and circumference.

    Strapless strap-ons can be found in our Strapless Strap Ons section.

    Need more help?

    You can Contact Customer Care, who will be able to help you find the perfect harness. You can email, telephone or live chat to an experienced advisor 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.


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