6 Fun Ways to Initiate Sex

by Lovehoney

on 27 Nov 2019


Lights off. Bit of cuddle. Some kissing. Sex.

Lights off. Bit of cuddle. Some kissing. Sex.

Lights off. Bit of cuddle. Some kissing. Sex.

Lights off. Bit of a cuddle – do you see where we're going with this?

If sex is always initiated the same way in your relationship, your love life tends to get quite predictable. Boredom is something we put up with on a long train trip or during a staff meeting – it's not something we should be experiencing in the bedroom!

Try any of these 6 fun ways to initiate sex the next time you want to break away from your usual routine (remember to always get clear consent from your partner, no matter how they seem to be responding to your advances).

Drop A (Seriously Obvious) Hint

It's true what they say, actions speak louder than words! If suggesting sex tends to leave you feeling a little tongue-tied, all you need to do is get your hands on a prop instead.

Try leaving a bottle of Lovehoney Enjoy Water-Based Lubricant on your bed alongside your favourite vibe or dildo.

Your lover will know exactly where your head is at once they've seen your suggestive arrangement.

Send A Sext

If suggesting a bit of sexy time face-to-face makes you feel too bashful, why not compose a cheeky sext?

Sexting isn't only for couples in long-distance relationships, it's for anyone who wants to communicate their fantasies using the written word.

If you're not sure how to get the ball rolling, don't fret – we've put together 31 Sexting Phrases That'll Heat Up Any Conversation.

Pamper Them

When was the last time you lavished your partner with TLC? No, not the 1990s RNB girl group, we mean showing your SO a bit of tender loving care!

Intimacy can be a great way to initiate sex, and giving your partner a foot rub or a head massage after an exhausting day will help them to leave any stress at the door.

When we're feeling the pressure from work or studies, we don't tend to be as receptive to offers of sex as we normally would – your pampering efforts should aim to bring some relaxation into your loved one's life!

If the mood is right, you can offer to take it to the next level with an erotic massage. Check out Ep.19 of the Sexual Happiness Podcast, How to Give an Erotic Massage.

Dress to Impress

Being comfortable around your lover is where it's at – but if you're looking for a fun way to initiate sex, why not dress up? They say clothes maketh the man, well we say clothes maketh the man (or woman!) horny!

Nothing stokes the flames of desire like a bit of eye candy, so if you know stockings and suspenders get them hot and bothered, why not get your pins into a pair and ask them what they think of your new look?

Tell Me You Want Me

Your lover doesn't want to feel like you only come to them because you're horny – they want to feel desired!

So instead of telling your significant other how you can't wait to get your rocks off, try paying them a racy compliment, or expressing how attractive you find them.

Letting your lover know that you find them alluring is bound to give them a confidence boost, so it's a great way to set the mood.

Talk the Talk

The thing that people often find the most intimidating about initiating sex is how to get the ball rolling. How do you take a situation from one that's '9 to 5' and steer it towards a 'Sexual Healing' scenario? The answer is: communication.

Sure, having your partner grab you as soon as you walk in the door can be extremely sexy. But if this is the only move you have in your Romance Toolkit, it's going to really old really fast! Before you try and jump their bones, be sure to spend some quality time talking to your other half.

Your talk doesn't have to be dirty (but if you want it to be here's How To Feel Great While You're Talking Dirty) – it can revolve around something as simple as how their day went. You'll find it is easier to initiate physical intimacy if you've made the effort to engage in quality conversation.

Audrey Andrews is a student blogger for Lovehoney. In her spare time she loves to do craft, but would not advise knitting your own condoms.

Download UNISEX Student Lovehoney E-Book

You may also like:


Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
Covering simply everything

Originally published on 27 Nov 2019. Updated on 5 Aug 2020