Self-Love Sessions: How to Become and Feel Sexually Empowered
on 31 Dec 2022
Sexual empowerment – in a sex saturated world where we can lose ourselves in erotica novels and fictional characters, it may not mean what you think it does.
Contrary to popular belief, feeling and being sexually empowered is not about wearing fetish clothes and owning something (or someone) in the bedroom. It’s about taking ownership of your sexual being, becoming deeply acquainted with your sexual needs and desires and trusting your ability to make informed choices about your sexual happiness.
For each person, the journey towards sexual empowerment is a deeply personal one, and how and when you find yourself at the pinnacle of your sexual contentment is different for everyone.
7 Steps to Sexual Empowerment
Build Your Sexual Knowledge
The world is your oyster and there is so much to learn, so drink from the fountain of sexual knowledge. In a time and era where sexuality has become such a broad spectrum of so many things, it’s important to understand what it can mean to other people too and not just yourself. If terms such as non-binary, asexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous and bisexual, to name just a few, leave you feeling confused, there may be gaps in your sexual education you can begin to fill.
Knowing about different STI’s, pregnancy and contraception is also important. Learn about how to stay safe with sexual partners and how to practice safe and consensual sex as this will all help you make informed decisions when it comes to exploring your sexual desires.
Make Informed Choices
You are your greatest protector, and you should feel in control of every sexual encounter you experience. By law, it is your basic human right to give or withdraw consent at any time and you should always have the ability and power to make informed decisions about who and when you choose to engage with sexually.
Never feel pressured into giving away parts of yourself or your body if you feel uncomfortable in doing so and have the confidence to say no if something doesn’t feel right.
Regardless of a sexual partner’s preferences, if it is your wish to practice safe sex through contraceptives and barrier methods, be assertive in ensuring this is what happens. Your body is yours, and yours only. Educate yourself to make informed choices wherever possible.
Own Your Sexual Identity
Never feel confined to square boxes and stereotypes. Sexuality is a huge, colourful spectrum of individualism. Being authentic about how you identify is key to unlocking your sexual happiness. If you happen to fall within the sexual sphere of ‘LGBTQ+’, you may feel concerned or threatened by potential discrimination.
Facing your fears, owning your sexuality and being proud of who you are is best way to feel sexually empowered, and could help others around you to find the confidence to do the same. There is never any shame in being who you are, in challenging the status quo, or by being brave enough to say ‘This is exactly who I was always meant to be.’
Trust Your Own Touch
Feeling empowered can start with something as simple as learning how you like to be touched. Through masturbation and self-pleasure, you can learn so much about your sexuality, and your sensitivity to sexual pleasure. If you are a virgin, or have not yet engaged in penetrative sex, masturbating first can prepare you for feeling empowered during your first time.
Even if you have had sexual experiences with other people, regularly checking in with yourself and spending time alone can enhance your future sexual experiences, as you’ll be able to give informed direction to your partners.
Learn To Love Yourself
From accepting your flaws and highlighting your blinding assets, self-appreciation is key to feeling sexually empowered. It’s not always easy to love ourselves, but the reality is – when we do, it becomes much easier for others to love us too.
Sexual empowerment and self-love come hand-in-hand, with one, comes the other and reaching the final destination for both can follow a deeply personal journey of self-discovery. Need some inspiration to be kinder to yourself? Check out the Lovehoney road-map to self-love, here.
When you know all there is to know about yourself, your desires, needs and sexual preferences, you can begin to communicate this to your partner. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner if you don’t like something, but also remember to compliment when they do something that makes you feel good. Be open and willing to share your fantasies but don’t put heavy sexual demands on your partner or push beyond where feels comfortable. Sexual empowerment works both ways when in a sexual relationship with another person – build each other up with trust, communication and consent.
Understand that just as you do, everyone else around you also deserves to feel sexually empowered. By embracing all people from all walks of life, you are not only empowering yourself with essential life skills and commendable attributes like empathy and social acceptance, but you are also empowering others by providing a safe place where they can project their authenticity.
Through your own knowledge and sexual experiences, you can give others opportunities to learn where they can, to feel confident in communicating with you and to be more assertive in expressing their own sexual identities without any fear of judgement.
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