Lovehoney’s Ultimate Sex Dictionary: 100 Sex Terms You Need to Know

by Violet

on 16 Dec 2021

Ever had your pals bring up a sexy term and had to nod along, pretending to understand? Yep, us too. Well, fear no more, because your friends at Lovehoney are here to spread some serious knowledge, with our ultimate sex dictionary.

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Designed to help you delve into the depths of kinks, fetishes and different sexual communities, this little dictionary will help you to expand both your knowledge and your vocabulary.

Who knows, maybe you’ll even discover that little quirk you have in the bedroom is not so unique after all.

Anal Play

Any sexual play which includes the butt. This could include licking, fingering or full penetration.


The act of lovingly caring for your partner after BDSM play. This can include cuddling and verbal reassurance.


The act of orally pleasuring the butt. See also: Rimming.


A sexual orientation that describes individuals who have no or very low sexual attractions. While some asexuals still have romantic relationships, others have no interest in relationships.




An individual who is sexually aroused by themselves. Autosexualtiy is even classified as a sexual orientation.

"Oh no! We lost Sandra in the house of mirrors!"

"Don't worry, she's autosexual"


An acronym meaning: Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism.


A term used in the LGBTQ community to describe a larger and often hairier man who projects an image of rugged masculinity.

Blow Job

The act of pleasuring a penis with your mouth. Contrary to the name, it doesn’t include blowing, but licking and sucking.


A term used in the LGBTQ community to describe a person who prefers to take a less active role in sexual play. A bottom can be a penis owner or a vulva owner.

Blended Orgasm

The term describes the sensation of having two different types of orgasm at once. The most common form of blended orgasmis a simultaneous G-spot and clitoral orgasm.


Bondage couple flogger


A term used within the BDSM community to describe a submissive individual who enjoys ‘misbehaving’ in order to be punished by their dominant partner.

"He tells me I'm a brat, but I prefer a glutton for punishment"

Chastity Play

A broad term that describes purposely abstaining from sex for sexual gratification. While some will wear physical cages around their bits, others simply promise not to touch themselves or orgasm until their lover says it's OK.

Cock Ball Torture (CBT)

The act of intentionally causing pain and constriction to a consenting partner’s testicals for sexual pleaure.

Cream Pie

The act of ejaculating inside a vulva or an anus.

Cross Dressing

The act of wearing items of clothing not commonly associated with one's sex. Unlike gender non-conforming or trans people, cross dressing (in regards to sexual play) is more about experimentation rather than identity.


A man who willingly encourages his partner to sleep with other people because it brings him sexual pleasure.


A woman who willingly encourages her partner to sleep with other people because it brings her sexual pleasure.


The act of orally pleasuring a vulva.

Crotchless Knickers



A thong or pair of knickers which do not have a gusset to cover the wearer’s crotch.

This type of underwear are especially popular for sexual play as they can be left on during foreplay and sex.

"Whip off your knickers love and let's get going!"

"No need, lover, I'm wearing crotchless knickers."

Deep Throat

The act of orally pleasuring a penis by taking it as deep into the mouth as possible. This can mean the penis literally enters the giver’s throat.


An individual who experiences no sexual attraction to a person until they have established a deep emotional connection with them.

Dirty Talk

The act of using sexual explicit talk and descriptions of sexual scenarios in order to cause sexual arousal.


A term used within the BDSM community to describe someone who takes a more active role. This may mean they are on the giving end of sadism during sexual play, while some are dominant to their consenting partners outside the bedroom too.

Double Penetration

When a vulva owner penetrates both their vagina and their anus at the same time.

Dry Humping



The act of two people rubbing their bodies together, with clothing or a sheet covering their genitals.

"I had a dream that I was dry humping Tom Hanks within an each of his life - it was magical."


The act of purposely delaying an orgasm in order to strengthen the sensation. This can be achieved by masturbation or sex.

Erotic Sexual Denial

The act of intentionally refraining from sexual activity in order to build up sexual arousal, anticipation and tension. It is different from edging, as orgasm denial builds over longer periods of time and is most commonly found within the BDSM community.

Erotic Electrostimulation

The act of using electrical stimulation on the genitals as well as other erogenous zones for sexual pleasure. There is a wide range of sex toys on offer that safely use electrostimulation.

Face Sitting

The act of orally pleasuring a person with a vulva by having them squat above another person’s face and mouth.


When a person with a penis ejaculates over their partner’s face.

Fantasy Role Play

Taking on a role to explore new sexual scenarios. This can be complete make-believe, or involve costumes and props.


The act of orally pleasuring a penis.


The act of physically sucking semen out of a sexual orifice, such as a vagina or asshole. People who engage in this type of sexual play sometimes use metal straws to felch.


Describes when a person feels sexually fixated on an object which the majority of the population do not find sexual. This can include feet, leather, shoes and many many more.


The act of stimulating a vulva with your fingers. Fingering can include penetrating the vagina with fingers or thumbs, or rubbing the clitoris.


The act of penetrating the anus or vagina with the whole hand or fist.

Food Play

The act of involving food and eating during sexual play. Popular foods to bring into the bedroom include; strawberries, chocolate and whipped cream.

Foot Worship

A term used to describe the act of being sexually attracted to feet. While some people worship feet simply by looking at them, others prefer to touch, lick or give pampering treatments to their partner’s feet.




The form of penis-on-penis sexual play, in which both people rub their penises together. This position does not require any penetration.

"My penis would very much like to meet your penis. Therefore you are cordially invited for a frotting session at my humble abode."


A piece of material that physically restrains a person’s voice. Gags can be made from fabric or leather, and are sometimes equipped with a rubber ball that the wearer can bite down on.

Golden Shower

The act of purposely urinating on your partner. See Watersports.


A work of manga or anime animation that contains sexually graphic heterosexual content.


An individual who is sexually attracted to the opposite sex and gender to themselves.


Erotic humiliation refers to the consensual act of causing psychological humiliation for sexual pleasure and excitement.

Impact Play



The act of using a whip, flogger, paddle or another prop to strike your partner during sexual play. Slapping is usually directed at the butt or thighs, but can be a full-body experience.

"I can't get enough of impact play. There's nothing like a spanking to get me in the mood!"


A term used to describe someone born with both male and female sex characteristics. This can include chromosomes or even both sets of genitalia.

Kegel Exercise

The act of repeatedly contracting and releasing the pelvic floor muscles, in order to strengthen the muscles. Kegel exercises can improve sexual function and even strengthen orgasms.


A term used to describe an unconventional sexual taste, fantasy or practice.


A term used to describe those who get sexual pleasure and excitement from anal enemas.


The act of stimulating a penis owner’s inguinal canals (which are located just behind the scrotum). Also known as transgender fingering, muffing is seen as a less gender dysphoric way to pleasure a trans woman.

Mutual Masturbation

The act of masturbating in front of a partner or partners.

Nipple Play

The act of stimulating the nipples for sexual pleasure.

Objectum Sexuality

A term used to describe those who are sexually attracted to inanimate objects.


Refers to group sex which consists of at least five individuals.




An individual who is sexually attracted to all genders and gender expressions.

"So, do you like boys or girls?"


"Wait, which one?"

"Both. I'm pansexual."


The term describes individuals who have persistent and recurrent sexual interests, urges, fantasies involving objects, activities, or even situations that are atypical in nature.

Pearl Necklace

Refers to the act of purposely ejaculating on someone’s chest. This act gets this rather pretty name as the semen can look like pearls scattered like a necklace.


Refers to when a woman anally penetrates a man. This is usually performed while the woman wears a harness and a strap-on dildo. See Strap-On Play.

Pet Play

A type of fantasy role play in which at least one party is role playing as an animal. This often includes costumes and other accessories. See Pony Play.

Pillow Princess

A term usually used within the LGBTQ community to describe a gay woman who prefers to receive sexual pleasure rather than give it. See Bottom.


The practice of sleeping with or having a relationship with more than one person at one time. With polyamory, all partners are aware of one another and are consenting to the arrangement.

Pony Play

A type of pet play, pony play is animal fantasy role play in which one or more parties is role playing as a horse. The act often includes costumes, saddles and other equestrian accessories.


The act of engaging vaginal muscles during penetrative sex to stimulate a partner’s penis. During pompoir, both people remain still and the vulva owner uses their muscles to create pulses along the penis.

Power Bottom

A term used in the LGBTQ community to describe a bottom (aka more passive partner during sexual play) who takes a more active role while bottoming. This can include telling their partner what to do, or controlling the rate and depth of penetration.


A small rubbery gland located deep inside the groin, between the base of the penis and the rectum. Stimulating the prostate with the fingers or a sex toy can be very pleasurable during sex.




A dominant sex position in which a vulva owner squats directly over their submissive’s face, stimulating their vulva with their sub’s mouth and tongue.

The act when described this way is often part of BDSM play.

See Facesitting.

"Fancy going out tonight?"

"Sorry, I can't. I'll be queening my girlfriend all night."

Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)

An acronym commonly used in the BDSM community to lay out the principles of safe BDSM play.


The act of stimulating the anus with your mouth or tongue. See Analingus.

Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC)

The fundamental principles to BDSM play. Many people within the BDSM community have adopted the abbreviation in order to practise BDSM safely.

Safe Word

An essential part of any kind of BDSM, a safe word is a previously agreed-upon word or term which will halt all activity immediately if someone feels unsafe.


The act of sending or receving sexually graphic texts, images or video via a mobile phone.

Sexual Mummification

A form of bondage, in which a consenting individual is wrapped head to toe (like a mummy) immobalising them and giving sexual gratification.


The Japanese art of rope tying. While it is used in the kink community, shibari is also about making art out of the human body, as the patterns and techniques used are complex and often visually pleasing.


The act of sucking and licking a partner’s toes for sexual gratification.

Sixty Nine

A popular sex position, in which both people give their partner oral sex at the same time.


The act of ejaculating into a person’s mouth and then passing the semen back through kissing.


The act of slapping a partner’s butt or thighs for sexual gratification. See Impact Play.


A subset of the Wet and Messy fetish which involves incorporating food (usually in copious amounts) into sex play. See Wet and Messy.


Describes the act of ‘female ejaculation’, in which a vulva owner expels fluid from their urethra when orgasming.


A term used to describe an individual who doesn’t enjoy having their genitals touched during sexual play. Often stones will refer to give sexual pleasure rather than take.

Strap-on Play

The act of one person penetrating another person with a strap-on dildo. This can be done anally or vaginally. See Pegging.


A term used within the BDSM community to describe someone who takes a more passive role. This may mean they are on the receiving end of masochism during sexual play, while some are submissive outside the bedroom too.

Suspension Bondage

A form of bondage, in which a consenting individual is bound and suspended via fixed points overhead. It is a risky practice and requires plenty of practice and skill.


The practice of engaging in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners within a group, especially on a habitual basis.




A term used within the BDSM community to describe an individual who enjoys being submissive and dominant during sexual play.

Switches can lead or follow during BDSM play depending on the situation.

"Do you think Abraham Lincoln was a Dom or a sub?"

"He was obviously both, Abe was definitley a switch."

Tantric Sex

An ancient Hindu and Buddhist practice that involves the exercise of experiencing sexuality in a ritualised or yogic context. This can include practising mindful movement or syncing your breath with your partner during sexual play.


The act of orally stimulating testicles during sex, often by placing them fully in the mouth.

Temperature Play

The act of using cool or warm objects to stimulate the genitals. Temperature play is commonly practised with metal or glass sex toys, as these can easily be warmed or cooled in water.


A term to describe sex involving three people.


A term used to describe a relationship involving three individuals, in which every person is intimately linked with the other two.


A term mostly used in the LGBTQ community to describe a person who likes to be the one in control during sexual play and takes on a more active role. A top can describe a vulva owner or a penis owner.


Most commonly referred to as ‘scissoring’, tribbing is the act of two vulva owners rubbing their vulvas together for sexual stimulation.

Venus Butterfly

A sex position where the vulva owner lies on their back, legs spread, with their partner kneeling in front of them. The giver has optimal access to the vulva, and can use their mouth, fingers or toys to pleasure their partner.

Wet and Messy (WAM)



A sexual fetish involving fun with non-bodily substances, often in copious amounts. From milk to mud and custard to cake batter, wet and messy play enthusiasts may enjoy being covered in the substance, watching others being covered, or both.

See Sploshing.

"Bring that trifle with you later, I like it wet and messy."


A term used to describe those who are sexually attracted to urine.

Urethral Sounding

The act of stimulating the urethra with a specially designed tool. These tools are usually long, thin and made of metal. They are gently inserted down the penis, or up the urethra in a vulva.


A term widely used in the polyamory and swinging communities to describe a single woman who is interested in having sex with a couple. They are named unicorns as they are considered rare and sought after.


A term used in the BDSM community to describe sex that is seen as conventional with no kinkiness.


The sexual thrill gained either from watching sex or from being watched while having sex.

Yoni Massage

A type of sensual massage in which the giver massages the receiver’s vulva and other erogenous zones. Though it sounds very sexual, orgasm is not the primary goal. Yoni massage is more about feeling comfortable in the body.


Sex that involves the act of urination. This may include peeing or being peed on by a partner. See Golden Showers.


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A form of temperature play, waxplay is popular within the BDSM community and describes the act of dripping wax over a consenting partner’s body.

"You know what's hot figuratively and literally? Waxplay."

Explore your new vocabulary


Written by Violet. Lovehoney Editorial Team
Violet joined Lovehoney's writing team in 2019 as our lingerie aficionado.
Violet is also an avid sex toy collector and co-host of The Sexual Happiness Podcast

Originally published on 16 Dec 2021. Updated on 9 Dec 2021