Spanking and Whipping for Beginners
If the idea of mixing a little pain with your pleasure appeals, make sure you have the right tools to make the most of your fantasy.
If you want to increase the sensitivity of your partner’s skin, a spanking paddle or flogger will help set their senses alight. If you want to accessorise a dominant persona or make their skin sting, try a riding crop or a traditional cane.
This guide has some fabulous advice that will have you whipping your partner into a frenzy in no time.
Above: Discover the proper way to spank for pleasure with Jess Wilde in our how-to video.
Spanking is when a hand or paddle is slapped against the bottom, producing a sore thud against the skin. Although painful, spanking can be used to complement pleasurable sensations and can often give you the push you need to orgasm!
Erotic spanking can be enjoyed as part of role play, as a punishment in a BDSM scenario or even during intercourse to increase the endorphin rush.
The best way to try out spanking is to use your hands first. Cup your hand slightly, with your fingers together and spank lightly in an upward motion.
Once you have become comfortable with spanking, try doing it harder and more frequently, timing each spank to arrive no later than three seconds apart. Cover both cheeks, aiming for the lower, fleshier part and start to increase the force. Vary the pressure, frequency and placement of the slaps.
If you want to take your spanking play even further, invest in a paddle such as the Bondage Boutique Studded Leather Paddle. This will allow a greater range of movement and the different texture will give you some unique sensations too.
- Never spank anywhere other than the bottom and upper thighs.
- Stop instantly if your chosen safe word is used.
- Make sure the skin is properly cared for after a spanking by using a cool moisturiser, such as aloe vera gel, or a specialist product after-spanking cream.
A flogger is a whip with many tails which can be used anywhere on the body but particularly the back, bottom or thighs. The many tails still produce a thudding kind of pain but at a more intense level.
Begin by gently running the tails over the skin to get your partner accustomed to the feel of a flogger. Then start flogging your partner by swinging the whip in a figure of eight. Try using the flogger at different proximities to your partner to figure out the best way to use it.
- Always employ your safe word when things become too painful.
- Keep your flogger away from the face and eyes.
The slender tip on whips offers a much more intense sensation than a spanking paddle. For beginners, the easiest and safest way to experiment is with a riding crop like the Bondage Boutique Slim Riding Crop. They’re also great directional tools for gesturing, enhancing a dominant persona. You can even use the dining table or an armchair as a makeshift ‘whipping bench’ to bend over.
A bullwhip, such as the Sportsheets Dragon Kiss Whip is more difficult to use and will produce a cracking sound and a sensation that is similar to being cut. Using a bull whip can be hard and you should really spend some time practising before you even get close to your partner with one. The best way to learn is to attend a fetish workshop or practice lots in a wide open space.
- Practice lots with a crop or whip before you try it out on your partner.
- The pain of a whip is very intense so a safe word is of utmost importance.
- Controlling a bull whip is difficult so only use it when you are sure you can hit the area you want on your partner.
Ahhh, a good old fashioned caning! What could be better? Caning, in many ways, is similar to using a single-tail whip. The pain is sharp and intense and it’s likely to leave marks or welts on the skin.
The DOMINIX Deluxe Leather and PVC Cane is a great device for producing a painful yet pleasurable thwack and is perfect for teacher/student role play too!
Hold the cane in your dominant hand and use the lower end (but not the actual tip) to strike your partner’s bottom. Start by ‘flicking’ the cane, taking it just a few inches away from the skin and jolting it forward. Once your partner is used to this, take the cane further and further away, getting a greater swing on the movement.
You should be creating red streaks across their bottom and hitting the fleshy part, as opposed to the slimmer top part.
- If the cane is not treated or covered, be careful of splits and splinters.
- Don’t use the tip of the cane against the skin - this is usually very sharp and can hurt more than intended.
- Always listen out for that safe word!
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